Too Silly For Words

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	Too Silly For Words

	Here is a small collection of five poems of silliness.

Nonsense Poem

Dedicated to the good people of the RSS (Really Silly Society)

Never underestimate

Backwards chickens

Bang! Bang! Bang!

My heart is on the fire

Life is life

And never enduring

The open sands of feet

Never never

Lurking in yourself

Bananas never prosper

Leech attack! Shark! Pig!

Melons bumbling bumble bees

It's a sure thing

I'd like a glass of ham

Wasps are not a beverage!

Go to Manchester!

Ice-cream incinerating inside-out

Klingon church worshippers, man

The death of time is started finished

Go home to the tank of bread

Lets all sing together

Never cold, never blue or green

Life is one big tortoise

So we should be grateful for all we are given.

Ching!

A little a little a trifle.

Polka-Dot Shorts

Dedicated to Nigel P.

Oh shorts

This poem is as is your length

Polka-dot shorts

You are not like a fence

Oh shorts

You must know

Polka-dot shorts

Will always come and go.

A Little Poem of Sorts

Dedicated to the God of Cheese.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Most poems rhyme

But this one doesn't.

(It likes to be different.)

The Man Who Would (If he could)

Dedicated to a fax machine. Somewhere.

There once was a man who would

If only he really could

He sat on a pie

And attempted to fly

But it didn't do him in any good.

There once was a woman who would

If only she really could

She rocketed to Mars

And bought twenty bars!

But forgot to take off her hood.

There once was a tree who would

If only it really could

It went to play poker

In a diamond green choker

But discovered it was only wood.

A fax machine said that it would

And it soon found out that it could!

It went far away

For a year and a day

And then it understood.

My Little Dictionary

Dedicated to George Bush. He needs one.

A dictionary:

It's full of words

It does not contain birds

Can I have a vowel please, Carol?

To make a lovey word

To fit in a sentence

If you didn't have a dictionary

Where would you be?

Probably in a lake somewhere

Oxford make dictionaries

God knows why

Let's ask him

God, why do Oxford make dictionaries?

God didn't reply

Let's leave it at that.

silly/ adjective (-ier, -iest) foolish, imprudent colloquial silly person. # silliness noun

Beware, below is something of extreme silliness

A Scene from David Copperfield

Dora: Hahaha, since killing David with that wet haddock I have felt so alive!

Peggotty: But maybe murdering those young women was a mistake.......

Dora: Silence, you! It was pure genius. I killed all those women because they deserved it! And those damn policeman had the nerve to blame some poor bloke called Jack.

Peggotty: But Dora, my love, maybe if I hadnt had a sex change and married you then the world would be a better place!

Dora: Dont speak of that, Peggy! You smell like soggy trout and no-one would have married you, except for maybe Tony Blair.

Peggotty: Dont speak ill of Tony Blair! Everyone knows you love George Bush!

Dora: How dare you! You illiterate melonhead! Die, you, die!

Peggotty: Nooooooooo!

(Dora kills her with a frying pan)

Dora: Haha! Now that my lover is dead I can marry George Bush and together we can take over the world! And then I will kill him with a banana and marry Osama Bin Laden!

Osama Bin Laden: Not on your nelly! Id rather blow myself up!

(Bang bang)

Dora: Damn you, Osama! This cannot be happening! I know! I will marry Mrs Alger!

Mrs Alger: Alright then, I suppose so. You are quite attractive to me.

Dora: Oh Janet, donkeys!

Mrs Alger: Mmm. Donkeys.