Conversations With Vegetables

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	Conversations With Vegetables

	Four poems that somehow relate to vegetables. Or fruit. And one that's nothing to do with food at all. Ah well. You can't have everything your own way.

Authenticity

Dedicated to Albert Einstein.

Explosions explain

Why I must acertain

Why I painted my curtains blue

I do this, oh my

To simply imply

That I rather enjoy the view.

So never in doubt

While others may trout

My fish in my river are dead

It's not really surprising

As when I was revising

My pencil went straight through my head.

A view can't be expected

To be simply reflected

When cheese plays a major part

For the view that I see

Of a remote-controlled tree

Often pulls at the strings of my heart.

But when I'm exploding

A sense of foreboding

Tells me to keep away

However at noon

Thus comes the spoon

And the aubergines all do play.

The Song of the Courgette

Dedicated to my necklace.

Chorus:

Courgette, courgette,

Roll out the barrel!

Courgette, courgette

It would be so sad

Don't leave

Courgette

Courgette

You are so green

I'm in-between

Wherever you are and here

There's never a chance

Of a cucumber dance

If a courgette is near!

Repeat Chorus

If I was a veg

I would be in a hedge

And not on a stage like you,

But as I am not

It's hotter than a pot

Of steaming sellotape stew!

Oh,

Repeat Chorus x2

Ode to Bananas

Dedicated to Tony Blair's chair.

I once had a banana

It was small

It was yellow

And it vaguely resembled a small yellow fruit

Namely a banana

Monkeys like bananas

Or so they say

I've never seen one eating one

But I have seen a monkey eating a banana

The banana never ate the monkey

In French it's "Banane"

In Spanish it's "Plantano"

In English it's "Banana"

I wrote this poem for a good friend of mine

He was a banana

Banana

Banan

Bana

Ban

Ba

B

Vegetables

Dedicated to, erm, vegetables!

Vegetables

Vegetables

Wandering Free

Please don't sit in my apple tree

Vegetables

Vegetables

This is not a test

Vegetables

Vegetables

I think I need a rest!

Clownfish

Dedicated to those who knows.

This really is not appropriate.

I don't find this funny.

You can't just walk in here,

You and your "jokes"

You only come to mock me.

Shame on you.

Knocking on someone's door is funny?

I don't see the joke

That's disturbing the peace

And annoying people.

Why does tha poor man have to go to the doctor?

What? That's a joke?

You can't make fun of other people's

Unfortunate illnesses

If the man thinks he's a pair of curtains

Then he really should pull himself together.

This really is not appropriate.

Funny I don't find this.

Funny.

Not.