Oodles of Noodles

	Freakhead's Poetry Penguin
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	Oodles of Noodles

	A collection of 5 poems that will make your head spin faster than a possessed Linda Blair. Unless you're as weird as me..... [Oh and by the way there's also one by my Crazy Orange Friend.]

Oodles of Noodles

Dedicated to the big guy upstairs. My brother.

Oodles of noodles

Expanding like poodles

But if he canoodles

Those explanatory doodles

The oodles of noodles

May turn into spaghetti.

Glass of water

Dedicated to the king of donkeys.

It was see through

But so was my leg

It was see through

Unlike a peg

It was kind of watery

But not quite

It kept me dead

All through the night

It was a little bit shiny

I found it quite dumb

I drank it anyway

Hum hum hum

The glass is gone now

To a better place

Let's hope it doesn't turn up

In outer space.

Lost Consonants

Dedicated to Graham Rawle. And a pair of scissors.

It was impossible to cross the river without taking the bride.

Uncle Frank took the girls on all the unfair rides.

A bad case of food poisoning left him in an alleyway sewing up his lunch.

He joined the club in the hope of fining new friends.

Jim was taken to hospital with severe stomach ramps.

After a while trotting around the field, Black Beauty started catering.

Betty taught children with severe earning difficulties.

She worked with victims of rug addiction.

He was intimidated by the gang's treats.

The Queen was taken backstage to shake hands with the cat.

Bob was acting strangely and she found him a little weir.

In the early days, Boyzone found it hard to sell their sons.

I hope you enjoyed that bit of insight into life.

Hello

Dedicated to this packet of cheese and onion crisps

Once I went to say hello

I accidentally went yellow

So I tried to say goodbye

And fell into the sky

I even attempted "Good day"

And drowned a pile of hay

So I tried speaking French "Bonjour"

And crashed backwards through a door

How about Italian? "Ciao"

But I landed on top of a sow

So I gave up and just went away

But tried again the very next day

I decided to try my new greeting

At a very important meeting

I said "Hello, why isn't this day orange?"

Of course, nothing rhymes with orange.

2 Good Poems

Dedicated to them

I had a little nut tree

But nothing would it bear

Except a silver spoon

And a golden pear

I said to the little tree

"Oh give me something new!"

The tree simply glared back and said;

"Nuts to you!"

Mary, Mary quite contrary

How does your garden grow?

"I live with my brat in a high-rise flat

So how the hell should I know?"

Ode to Jip

BY ALICE HEIDEN

Jip you lighten up my day

More than hearsay

And when doady does get pay (ed)

(Actually no that is not true)

No one knows how much i love you

Even when you jump on my books

And bark at aunt

(Although she is quite scary)

But I know you give respect to our tree

Because that is not where you do your.... business

Oh lovely Jip

Toddle Pip

Lets go to Tennessee

I dont want to end this poem

But i have to

Because you are about to eat Doadys socks

And there are haddocks

For tea